House Republican Schedulers Not Down With Shortening Recess
The threat of possibly having to return to Washington next week kicked a number of House GOP aides into fight mode Tuesday, stirring up a series of angry emails denouncing leaders for endangering the anticipated August recess.
Things got off to a pleasant enough start.
An assistant to House Majority Whip Steve Scalise, R-La., got the ball rolling by alerting everyone on the right side of the aisle that, barring any unforeseen circumstances, the chamber would be done with work by Wednesday.
“Woop there it is!” cheered a relieved Ohioan upon learning there were no votes expected Thursday.
But joy quickly turned to misery, once someone floated a nightmare scenario.
“Apparently the issue is we might come back next week,” a party-pooper threw out there. That opened the floodgates to a whole mess of pent up frustration.
“No. no. no. no. no. no. no.,” declared a shell-shocked aide.
“If they do it …” an incensed Indianan warned, punctuating the angry missive with a screen grab from the film “Taken” overlaid with a familiar call to visit bodily harm on meddlesome foes.
“Go on strike like these guys ….” a Pennsylvanian advised, attaching an image of the cast of “Newsies” preparing to engage in fisticuffs.
Others, like a “30 Rock”-savvy Georgian, got straight-up panic attack-y.
“I’m going to go talk to some food about this,” the reeling Republican staffer posted, taking a page from emotional eater extraordinaire, fake TV exec Liz Lemon.
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