Capitol Hill’s home for reimagined snack treats has flipped the script on a Sunshine State staple, (Just in time for Florida GOP Sen. Marco Rubio’s presidential run? Hmm.) whipping up a house-made goodie accented with fruity key lime, crumbly graham cracker and fluffy whipped cream.  

The flagship Ted’s Bulletin has been cranking out signature sweets from the get-go, tempting passersby with display cases full of freshly baked cakes, pies and custom treats.  

A key lime production Monday joined the platoon of pop tarts Pastry Chef Todd Miller and his crew crank out morning, noon and night.  

The bonus breakfast offering joins another seasonal player, salted caramel, on the revolving roster of oral entertainment. Given all the new developments, a certain Capitol Hill dining sleuth rolled up his sleeves, marched over to the Barracks Row eatery and fought through the five flavors currently rolling off the flour-dusted assembly line.  

My favorites, ranked from mine-mine-all-mine! to of-course-you-can-have-some include:

• Key Lime: Mixing graham crackers into the surrounding dough gives the shell a crunchier texture than the plain pastry. The underlying key lime custard adds zing while the citrus-spiked glaze keeps things zesty. The tropical tribute is a welcome addition.
• Blueberry Cheesecake: This one is perhaps the most complex of the grab-and-go snacks. There’s a sugar-glazed shell smothered in blue and white sprinkles to contend with, followed by velvety interior featuring rich cream cheese partnered with a much more subtle berry footprint.
• Strawberry: The go-to for confectionery connoisseurs features sugar glaze, rainbow sprinkles and a crazy-sweet filling.
• Salted Caramel: There’s no end to just how gooey this one can get. A drizzle of sticky-sweet caramel crisscrossed the glazed outer shell, while a deposit of stick-to-your-teeth, thick melted sugar pools in the middle.
• Brown Sugar and Cinnamon: The workhorse of the bunch covers the basics (omnipresent glaze, multicolored sprinkles, spicy center). It’s much drier and less intriguing than its fruit-filled counterparts.

The key lime creation sells for $3.99 a pop, and is now available all Ted’s locations in the D.C.-Metro area.  

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