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Illinois Republicans Bust Their Humps to Navigate Unfriendly Skies

“Being a member of Congress does not exonerate you from having to endure the same headaches the rest of us airplane travelers have to deal with,” an HOH tipster said Monday after witnessing a pair of time-crunched lawmakers hustle to make it back to D.C. in a somewhat orderly fashion.  

(Bill Clark/CQ Roll Call)
(Bill Clark/CQ Roll Call)

Per our spy, the trouble all started when United Airlines declared that the plane intended to whisk Illinois Republicans Rodney Davis, Robert Dold, Randy Hultgren and Mark S. Kirk back to work was experiencing mechanical difficulties and would not be taking its leave of Chicago O’Hare International Airport at the regularly scheduled time. Rather than sit around and stew on the tarmac — our source said they had to cut the power to the plane, so things got a little steamy inside the main cabin — Davis and Dold channeled their inner O.J. Simpson and high-stepped it over to the next available flight.  

The only problem is the ol’ end-around didn’t do them any good.  

“We were worried he would miss votes so United put him on another flight but they gave his seat away and took off without him before he could make it to the new gate,” Team Davis said of the futile run.  

Luckily, the frequent flyers were able to reclaim their original seats and zoomed back into town just ahead of the evening’s scheduled block of legislative activity.  

“While O’Hare often faces weather related issues, Congressman Dold feels fortunate for the high volume of flights between Chicago and Washington, which allows him to spend as much time at home with his constituents as possible,” Team Dold said of the freshman politician’s philosophical approach to shuttling back and forth.  

Davis has learned not to take such administrative slights personally. “Just goes to show that members of Congress are treated like any other passenger — if you’re late, they won’t hold the plane for you,” his aides related.  

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