If, as campaigning politicians love to posit, it is, in fact, perpetual morning in America, what better way to greet the day than with unabashedly patriotic cooking utensils?  

The meal-minded manufacturers at Germany-based Brainstream have cooked up just such a device: the Patriotic BeepEgg.  

The musically enabled egg timer — shrouded, of course, in a red, white and blue design scheme — plays a trio of heartstring-tugging tunes depending on the desired doneness of the corresponding poultry embryos. The handheld tool appears to be embedded with a tiny speaker that chirps out basic melodies. HOH has no stake in the BeepEgg franchise , but we can see this thing becoming No. 1 Christmas gift for conservatives (or possibly THE S.W.A.G item to show off later this week at the returning Conservative Political Action Conference) if the playlist were a bit flashier.  

Who wouldn’t hang out by the stove waiting to hear “Amazing Grace” as interpreted by a couple of dudes with electronic keyboards and a stone-cold groove in their hearts?  

Imagine the renaissance medium-boiled eggs would enjoy were they constantly queued up by Jimi Hendrix’s wildly original take on “The Star Spangled Banner.”