Congress Decoded: ‘My Good Friend’ and Others
With all the charged doublespeak clouding the air in both chambers these days (see: nuclear option, Senate and farm bill, House), we here at HOH thought this might be a good time for a refresher course on deciphering the often perverse lexicon of Capitol Hill:
1. Congressional phraseology: “My good friend”
Translation: “Gotcha now, you sonofab…”
2. Congressional phraseology: “Will the gentleman yield?”
Translation: “Have you lost your freaking mind?”
3. Congressional phraseology: “… to revise and extend my remarks … ”
Translation: “First time I’m seeing this, but I promise to clean things up in the footnotes.”
4. Congressional phraseology: “I ask unanimous consent … ”
Translation: “Don’t come at me, bro (por favor).”
5. Congressional phraseology: “I note the absence of a quorum.”
Translation: “Where my dogs at?”
6. Congressional phraseology: “Pro forma”
Translation: “Gone fishin’.”
7. Congressional phraseology: “Aye”
Translation: “What’s the worst that could happen?”
8. Congressional phraseology: “No”
Translation: “Convince me.”
Everybody got that?