Depp Does Dubya

Posted May 10, 2012 at 3:12pm

We apologize for being terribly behind on daytime TV watching, but our editors frown upon us staying glued to our sets. (“Two hours a day, either educational or football,” we’ve been warned.)

Turns out, if we had tuned in earlier this week to “Ellen,” we would’ve learned that tattooed thespian Johnny Depp based one of his iconic film personas, Willy Wonka, on President George W. Bush:

His jumping off point of an “incredibly stoned” Bush seems completely at odds with the skittish but entrepreneurial man-child Depp conjures to be the owner of the mystical chocolate factory.

First off, Bush has freely admitted to past alcohol abuse, and reports and rumors of cocaine use have followed him for years. These are attributes that make him a much better template for the nearly incomprehensible whirling dervish that is Captain Jack Sparrow.

Depp has credited musician and moving corpse Keith Richards with being the inspiration for the much-beloved pirate/jester. But given that Richards’ entire existence has been a waking nightmare of escapism and excess, we’d argue he’s the true Willy Wonka.