Sen. Kent Conrad isn’t throwing a fundraiser — and you’re invited NOT to attend.

In a rather unusual fundraising plea e-mailed to supporters Wednesday afternoon, the North Dakota Democrat’s campaign announced the “BIGGEST NON-EVENT OF THE YEAR.” The not-actually-happening soiree runs “anytime” from Aug. 15 to Sept. 10 and can be held “wherever you want.”

Hey, it beats another dull cocktail reception, right?

“Breaking News — Warren Buffett Will NOT Attend,” the tongue-in-cheek e-mail reads. “Already Committed Not to Attend: Sandra Bullock, Michael Jackson, George Clooney. Also Not Invited to Attend: Lady Gaga, Lindsay Lohan, Simon Cowell.”

The cleverly worded e-mail notes that with the time you’d otherwise spend at a Conrad campaign event, you could “Update your Facebook page,” “Floss,” “Do absolutely nothing,” “Spend time with your family,” “Recite words that rhyme with orange,” “Sleep” or “Perfect Lady Gaga’s ‘Pokerface’ for Karaoke Night.”

So how much does it cost to attend this non-event? The e-mail suggests a Conrad campaign donation of $1,000 for individuals and $2,500 for political action committees.

Overexposed?

As if the line at We, the Pizza wasn’t long enough as it is, Vanity Fair has named Capitol Hill’s resident celebrity chef, Spike Mendelsohn, to its list of up-and-coming movers and shakers.

The former contestant on “Top Chef” is No. 25 on the magazine’s The Next Establishment list, which was announced Wednesday.

Vanity Fair gives the chef props for getting first lady Michelle Obama to visit his Pennsylvania Avenue burger joint, Good Stuff Eatery.

It’s no secret that Mendelsohn is a media darling; the opening of We, the Pizza was met with adoration from nearly every publication in town. But HOH is starting to worry that the fedora-wearing chef is dangerously close to becoming the Kate Gosselin of Capitol Hill.

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