Since this week marks the three-month anniversary of Rep. Dennis Kucinich’s wedding, we thought we’d check in to see how married life is treating the Democratic vegan from Ohio.

What we found, ladies and gentlemen, was a man dizzy with love, with walls around his heart crumbling, the doors to his soul opened and his lips, luckily for us, looser than ever. [IMGCAP(1)]

“It’s great. Terrific. We’re both very happy. It’s been fantastic,” the romantic effused to HOH over the phone Friday. “The last three nights in a row, I had something I hadn’t done before: We basically fell asleep in each other’s arms watching love stories on DVDs.”

Kucinich, who turned 59 this month (happy belated birthday, Congressman!), married a tall, British, red-headed bombshell named Elizabeth Harper, who hails from a town near London. Harper also has a birthday coming up: She’ll be 28.

The couple got married in Cleveland on Aug. 21 and honeymooned on the Catawba Peninsula in Ohio, which Kucinich described as “gorgeous” and “relaxing.” They’ll take a second honeymoon of sorts when they travel to England in December to meet Harper family members who couldn’t make it to the wedding.

The Congressman describes his wife as “very independent-minded and resourceful and intellectually gifted, and I think she’ll be able to blaze her own path as well as join me on mine.”

As for her height, the more diminutive Kucinich joked, “It’s nice to have a woman you can look up to.”

Breaking Up 101. OK, guys, remember this simple advice: When you dump your gal, be super nice to her friends. Especially her girlfriends. Otherwise, they’re bound to exact a certain type of retribution that’ll leave you feeling ridden hard and put up wet.

Consider what happened to poor Tim Morrison, the legislative director for Rep. Mark Kennedy (R-Minn.). After he suddenly ended a three-month courtship of a young Southern woman named Melissa, two of the broken-hearted girl’s friends decided to teach ol’ Timmy a lesson in humility.

After the Hurricane Katrina relief fundraiser organized by the Gulf Coast states last month, the two loyal friends, both of whom are Senate GOP aides, spotted Morrison walking into the after-party at My Brother’s Place, a Senate-side bar on Second Street Northwest.

Morrison took a seat at a table inside, and within minutes, he wished he’d never set foot in the bar. The two Melissa “loyalists” walked up to him and dumped their full beers on his head, set the glasses down and walked away — briskly.

Though shocked, Morrison was as calm as a pilot in a plane crash, according to eyewitnesses. “He never saw it coming. But he handled it quite well. I don’t think I would’ve handled it that well,” said one eyewitness. Morrison walked out of the bar alone and wet, an eyewitness said.

The friends of Melissa had all sorts of pejorative things to say about Morrison. But he has nothing but kind things to say about the woman they were defending. He called the ex “a sweetheart” and said their relationship is private.

“Her friends, however, should have known that I prefer drinking my beer and not wearing it,” he said. “Imagine my surprise when I found out that the worst beasts aren’t two Milwaukee’s Best.”

Land of “Pygmies.” While Sen. David Vitter (R-La.) said he was just joking when he called certain Louisiana politicians “pygmies” last week, Sen. Mary Landrieu (D-La.) sure wasn’t laughing.

Criticizing the post-Hurricane Katrina performance of Gov. Kathleen Blanco (D) and others, Vitter was quoted by The Advocate in Baton Rouge, La., as saying, “It’s easy to look like a giant in a land of pygmies.”

Landrieu told HOH that she thought the comment was “unfortunate and insulting.”

“From my perspective,” she said, “I saw a lot of people standing pretty tall under the most difficult situations imaginable.”

Vitter also told Louisiana newspapers that he would be willing to sign a petition to recall Blanco. Landrieu didn’t think that was so nice of the junior Senator, either. “Our delegation has a responsibility to support our state and its leadership in this time of crisis, not undermine it,” she scolded.

Vitter’s spokesman declined to return fire against Landrieu’s criticism. But let’s just say, he wasn’t real happy to hear from HOH. Where’s the love?

Holy Crossers. Usually, “Hardball” host Chris Matthews is the big star of Holy Cross alumni events in Washington. Not last week.

At a reception Wednesday for college President Michael McFarland, alumna Jane Roberts showed up with a surprise guest: her husband, the new chief justice of the United States, John Roberts.

The capital’s new hot power couple showed up at the Omni Shoreham Hotel event at 7 p.m. and stayed the hour until it ended. “Just like we saw at the hearings, he knows how to work a room,” said one alumnus who works for Sen. Patrick Leahy (D-Vt.).

Another Leahy aide, Caroline Burke, an intern from Holy Cross, noted that Roberts took time to chat individually with 16 Holy Cross interns who were at the party. “He told me to tell Sen. Leahy that he survived his first week on the job,” she said.

Supreme Court Associate Justice Clarence Thomas is also a Holy Cross alum, but he wasn’t there.

Please send your hot tips, juicy gossip or comments to hoh@rollcall.com.