What I Did on My Summer Vacation

Posted September 3, 2003 at 4:56pm

Rep. Darrell Issa (R-Calif.): Spent $1.7 million on the recall, rewarded with complete Schwarzenegger DVD box set.

Sen. Dianne Feinstein (D-Calif.): Looked for loophole in California filing deadline.

Rep. Billy Tauzin (R-La.): Read Lew Wasserman bio “When Hollywood Had a King.”

Rep. Richard Gephardt (D-Mo.): Urged Iowa Legislature to annex Missouri.

Sen. Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.): Re-read Sandra Day O’Connor’s autobiography for clues about judicial temperament.

Sen. Tom Daschle (D-S.D.): Worked on scrapbook of “Tom Daschle spends recess driving across South Dakota” stories.

Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton (D-N.Y.): Learned to do hair in the dark.

Rep. Dennis Hastert (R-Ill.): No public events.

Rep. Bill Thomas (R-Calif.): Attended weeklong “Loving Yourself” seminar.

Sen. Jon Corzine (D-N.J.): Worked on crossover dribble.

Rep. Jim Gibbons (R-Nev.): Signed on with prominent Las Vegas headhunting firm.

Rep. Maurice Hinchey (D-N.Y.): Won Catskills’ Martin Scorsese Lookalike Contest for 11th straight year.

Sen. Bob Graham (D-Fla.): Mastered ability to flip steaks while criticizing Bush Iraq policy.

Rep. Dennis Kucinich (D-Ohio): Scoured Iowa cattle country for vegan restaurants.

Rep. Charles Taylor (R-N.C.): Refuted reports that U.N. peacekeepers were being sent to western North Carolina.

Sen. John Edwards (D-N.C.): Got caller ID, but didn’t return calls to N.C. Democrats.

Rep. Jerrold Nadler (D-N.Y.): Visited Carnegie Deli for ceremony to remove name from menu.

Sen. John Kerry (D-Mass.): Bought new pair of Birkenstocks.