Because clearly those “Dancing With the Stars” costumes weren’t revealing enough, political spawn Bristol Palin is baring more of herself in her new memoir, out on bookstands Friday.
HOH is here to spare you the effort of actually reading “Not Afraid of Life: My Journey So Far” (and yes, you’re welcome). Palin, of course, is the 20-year-old daughter of Todd and Sarah and mother of Tripp.
Below are the juiciest tidbits we could find.
On the night she lost her virginity:
“The wine coolers tasted sweet, and I slowly surrendered to their woozy charms. I felt young and carefree, and Levi kept replacing my empty bottles from his large stash. ... I remember sitting in one of those folding camping chairs, laughing with friends by the fire. What I don’t remember is what transpired between the moment when I was sitting there by the fire talking and the moment I awakened the next morning with something obviously askew.”
On what Mom wanted when she was growing up:
“One day she started to pray about finding the right guy to date. Because Wasilla was such a small town, the boys at school felt like brothers to her instead of possible boyfriends. So she asked God to bring in someone new.”
On meeting her future baby daddy:
“In seventh grade, my locker was right beside Levi Johnston’s. ... I hadn’t thought much about him until an English teacher gave all of us an assignment: write a letter to ourselves for a time capsule to be opened at the end of high school. ... After I’d sat there thinking about who I might like, my mind went back to that cocky guy whose locker was next to mine.”
Solid advice to men:
“Guys, take note. Do not put your girlfriend in the backseat so that you can talk hunting with your friend.”
On meeting that other political daughter, Meghan McCain:
“She ignored us during the entire visit, until an aide came in and said, ‘Meghan, did you meet Sarah Palin’s kids?’ Only then did she brighten up, extend her hand to us, and smile. ... She seemed really nice, so I shook her hand and tucked away the sneaking suspicion that I might need to watch my back.”
On being in labor:
“As I sat there in the hospital with Mom on one side and Levi on the other, it was the picture of ‘less-than-ideal circumstances.’ Levi would later tell his friends that being in the delivery room with me was ‘gross.’”
And, most importantly, on “Dancing With the Stars”:
“Believe it or not, all of the wardrobe is made specially for each contestant. Everyone was wondering how I’d be able to pull off the costumes, some of which barely cover your ... assets. ... ‘I’m not going to show my stomach because I have a son at home,’ I told them. ‘And I’m not going to show cleavage because that just looks like a butt crack.’”
Sen. Jeff Flake, R-Ariz., takes a selfie with his cut-out head during the Hoops for Youth 16th annual charity basketball game held at George Washington University's Smith Center, September 8, 2014. The members of Congress team beat the lobbyist team 46-40. Buy photo here.