March 31, 2015 SIGN IN | REGISTER
Roll Call

HOH’s One-Minute Recess: Dawn of the Political Dead

At HOH, we take our jobs seriously. So seriously that when debuted this week, we knew we had to write a serious game review about it.

Now, we may not be gamers we are, in fact, not gamers but weve done some battles here and there. Weve rescued Princess Peach from the evil King Bowser. Weve watched the World of Warcraft episode of South Park. So were kind of expert-like.

And such a politically themed game is too tempting to ignore.

The game, created by StarvingEyes Advergaming, starts easily enough: Move around with the arrow keys on the keyboard, switch between weapons with Z, hit or shoot with C. Its comparable to GoldenEye 007 for the Nintendo 64 (See? Expert analysis).

Armed with nothing but a crowbar, you attack the Generic Pissed Off Old White Guy Zombie (no really, thats his name). One good whack and hes toast.

As the game progresses, though, the zombies get harder and harder to kill. The Pissed Off Stupid White Trash Redneck Birther Zombie needs to be hit twice before he dies. And we lost count of how many times you have to hit the Expresses Racist Views Anonymously on the Internet Modern Klan Zombie, but its a lot.

We recommend keeping an eye out for the upgrades. The crowbar is cool, but the guns are easier to wield (though our aim could use some work).

The key is to make sure youre not overwhelmed by too many zombies. If youve got six of them ganging up against you, sorry, but youre probably going to die. The zombies show no mercy (well, of course not, theyre zombies). Fewer than 10 hits from them and youre dead.

When you die, the screen blares the message, YOUVE BEEN TEABAGGED! And just for good measure, when you die, the creators of the game point out that you died because you didnt have health insurance and that there is no God, so youre dead for eternity. (Subtle.)

But while they tell you youre dead for eternity, the game allows you to pick up from the last level you played. And its thanks to this handy device that HOH made it past the Trailer Park levels. We even got to read the tidbits of information/propaganda that the creators throw in. Unfortunately, we didnt get much further than that. The Sarah Palin and Michele Bachmann zombies are banshees that swing at you from the sky. Even with fully restored life points and a shotgun in hand, its impossible to kill all of the generic zombies, Palin and Bachmann (who is clad only in a bra and a skirt? Whats up with that, game creators?).

We hope you have found this review helpful. If you know of other such games, maybe Union Organizer Zombies Must Pay Crushing Dues to Support Liberal Politics or something, drop us a line. Wed love to review it, too.

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