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‘Sharknado 3’ — a Most Patriotic Disaster Flick (Video)

   

SAN DIEGO — Donkeys and elephants had their shot at uniting the country. Filmmaker Anthony C. Ferrante believes the Great White will succeed where all others have failed.  

(Warren Rojas/CQ Roll Call)

(Warren Rojas/CQ Roll Call)

The writer and director of the Syfy channel’s deliberately absurd “Sharknado” franchise is excited to rain terror on the nation’s capital in “Sharknado 3: Oh Hell No! "  

During a round of interviews here at Comic-Con International, Ferrante discussed his vision for the latest meteorological mayhem. “I wanted to do 'White House Down' with sharks,” he said.  

The latest installment in the series of insane shoot 'em ups tracks a fresh round of predator-spewing storms as they fling ravenous marine life up and down the East Coast. RollCall-On-the-Road-Logo(150x150) The original “Sharknado” wreaked havoc across Los Angeles. New York City suffered the wrath of displaced monsters from the deep in “Sharknado 2: The Other One.”  

When the bodies start piling up in #ThisTown — look for a cameo from former Minnesota Republican Rep. Michele Bachmann, who scored a gig playing herself before retiring from Congress — Mark Cuban’s President Marcus Robbins makes some fairly brutal executive decisions.  

“He has a shotgun. He has a machine gun. He has grenades. And nobody messes with his house,” Ferrante told CQ Roll Call of Cuban’s take-no-prisoners POTUS.  

(Screenshot)

(Screenshot)

Conservative pundit Ann Coulter plays the role of the vice president, but there’s no word on whether the partisan brawler survives the unnatural assault.  

Ferrante noted that while protagonists Fin Shepherd and April Wexler, portrayed by Ian Ziering and Tara Reid, respectively, have become adept at exterminating the toothy villains by any means necessary — “They put bombs in a tornado. They probably cause a lot of collateral damage,” he said of the zany survival tactics employed throughout — he did give some thought to how the legislative branch might chew on this particular problem.  

“My feeling is that everything goes slow in government anyway. So if the government’s trying to figure out how to stop the sharknadoes … there’s going to be a debate,” Ferrante said.  

What types of burning questions might leaders have to consider should airborne eating machines begin thinning the voter rolls?  

“Do you take all the sharks and send them to Guantánamo Bay? Do you corral them so they can never get in a tornado? Do you kill ’em all?” Ferrante said of possible policy prescriptions that got bandied about.  

Director Previews Sharknado 3

In the end, he tried not to think about it too hard.  

“A sharknado can do what a sharknado does. And sharknado does what we tell it to do,” he stipulated. “We can recreate the rules every movie.”  

So, whom would he like to have his B-movie brainchild snag the next time around?  

The most elusive actor of them all, of course.  

“Bill Murray, we want you in ‘Sharknado 4’ — if we do a ‘Sharknado 4,’” Ferrante floated.  

Sharknado 3 premieres on July 22 at 9 p.m. EST on Syfy.  

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