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Let Uncle Sam Handle Breakfast

If, as campaigning politicians love to posit, it is, in fact, perpetual morning in America, what better way to greet the day than with unabashedly patriotic cooking utensils?  

The meal-minded manufacturers at Germany-based Brainstream have cooked up just such a device: the Patriotic BeepEgg.  

(Screenshot)

(Screenshot)

The musically enabled egg timer — shrouded, of course, in a red, white and blue design scheme — plays a trio of heartstring-tugging tunes depending on the desired doneness of the corresponding poultry embryos. The handheld tool appears to be embedded with a tiny speaker that chirps out basic melodies. HOH has no stake in the BeepEgg franchise , but we can see this thing becoming No. 1 Christmas gift for conservatives (or possibly THE S.W.A.G item to show off later this week at the returning Conservative Political Action Conference) if the playlist were a bit flashier.  

Who wouldn’t hang out by the stove waiting to hear “Amazing Grace” as interpreted by a couple of dudes with electronic keyboards and a stone-cold groove in their hearts?  

Imagine the renaissance medium-boiled eggs would enjoy were they constantly queued up by Jimi Hendrix’s wildly original take on “The Star Spangled Banner.”