Lovebirds who toil within the Capitol campus should forget about expecting breathtaking trinkets or lavish bouquets to suddenly appear at their desks Tuesday.
As far as the Capitol Police are concerned, national security trumps affairs of the heart, including Valentine’s Day.
House Sergeant-at-Arms Paul Irving spells it out in his latest “special notice,” a downer memo chronicling the do’s and don’ts of gift delivery to Congressional staff.
• Only cut flowers set in water or arranged in an unsealed box or carton may be brought into the House office buildings or the Capitol (so much for blinging out your bay-bee’s Valentine’s swag)
• Only staff bearing valid identification badges may bring cut flowers into the House office buildings or the Capitol (cancel the flying Elvises)
• Sealed envelopes and containers are not allowed to be brought into the House office buildings or the House wing of the Capitol (emailing risqué pics is probably not the best idea either)
• All overnight deliveries via a nationwide system (FedEx, UPS, DHL, etc.) will be processed by the off-site Postal Operations screening facility, which may result in a delay of delivery (i.e., all last-ditch tokens of affection will wither and die in processing hell).
Ah, well, there’s always someecards.com ...