Love her or despise her, Capitol Hill denizens were utterly captivated by having a nearly naked Courtney Stodden preach the virtues of a vegetarian lifestyle to them while shoving fake wieners in everyone’s mouths.
The platinum-tressed teen blew into town to draw eyeballs to the People for Ethical Treatment of Animals’ curbside veggie dog giveaway. The staff luncheon/exercise in political theater is meant to serve as a counterpunch to the meat lobby’s annual hot dog blowout.
According to PETA spokeswoman Moira Colley, the group rallied supporters to the cause by distributing around 600 not dogs — “They’re all soy protein and spices,” one cheerful volunteer said of the meatless analogues — to famished passersby.
“Oooh, how much for a hot dog?” inquired one oblivious latecomer.
“They’re free!” chirped back a PETA aide.
Staff plucked the alterna-franks from sagging bins, plopped them into waiting buns and then invited patrons to customize each specimen with sauerkraut, ketchup, mustard or sweet relish.
The end product lacked the snap of a freshly grilled sausage, its casing relenting to clenched incisors rather easily. I sensed a hint of smoke a few more bites in but mostly just tasted bland filler and sweet pickles.
Detractors almost choked on their own bile, lashing out against Stodden , PETA , House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi, D-Calif., plastic surgery , feminism and whatever else came to mind via their social media soapbox of choice.
Colley, meanwhile, could not have been more pleased with the outcome.
“Courtney was fantastic! She was very gracious with her time and took photos with each person who requested one,” the PETA aide said of Stodden’s sterling appearance.
So, what comely vegetarian might PETA trot out for next year’s gawk fest? Colley’s lips are sealed.
“You will have to wait and see!” she teased.