The brain trust behind Gentlemen's Quarterly has decided that even though we're only a decade in, it's never too early to hand out superlatives to the most-obsessed-about women of the 21st century.
The list is, of course, dominated by the most scantily clad among us, a sorority of alluring actresses, busty lingerie models and morally bankrupt reality TV starlets.
And while Beyonce Knowles sports the "Miss Millennium" crown, a few women from the politisphere did manage to crash the prurient party. Jenna Bush, the daughter of former President George W. Bush, is called out as a guilty pleasure by contributor Devin Friedman:
"We were supposed to like the other one. The smart one. The one who went to Yale. When you confess to people that you're kind of hot for a Bush girl, she's the one they assume you mean. (They probably don't think you mean Laura, the mom, but they should. Laura is hot and seems like she has a secret.) But it's Jenna. Jenna, the sorority girl. The one who made us wonder how much fun her dad would have been if he didn't get sober and try to act like a decider. Jenna, who threw the "hook 'em horns" sign at the inaugural ball. Who kept getting busted in Austin for being all wasted and stuff. You can almost feel her hot, Bud Light–scented breath against your cheek. Jenna Bush. We know you know what we're talking about."
"I think somebody who is getting sexier every year is Hillary Clinton," he shares with GQ. "Every year she seems better at whatever she's doing. By the end of the millennium, she's gonna have it locked down."
Ashley Dupré, the call-girl who was the downfall of "Client 9" — that'd be former New York Gov. Eliot Spitzer to you and me — gets a nod for making 2008 particularly unforgettable. And Anna Chapman, the Russian spy men's magazines absolutely adored, is lauded for making the Cold War a hot topic in 2010.
The closest the list comes to Congress is hailing Kate Upton, the Sports Illustrated swimsuit standard-bearer niece of Rep. Fred Upton, R-Mich., as the paragon of unabashed sexuality for 2012.
"You're looking at a poster of the American male fantasy, circa last year. Someday this picture will make you feel nostalgic," GQ predicts.
Not for nothing, but we're rather surprised GQ glossed over some of the high-profile head-turners that have set hearts afire around Washington in recent years:
Then again, the magazine still has 987 years to set the record perfectly straight ...