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Getting to the Meat of the Matter in Texas

(Warren Rojas/CQ Roll Call)

From the looks of things on social media, folks in the Lone Star State can’t quite figure out exactly what they should be stuffing their faces with.  

Corpus Christi, Texas country station K-99 kicked off the caloric controversy earlier this week by endorsing a short, but still oddly redundant, rewriting of the food pyramid.  

The extra beefy prescription seemed to be one only Dr. Atkins could love. Not to mention that the proposed categories somehow managed to be both over-broad and bizarrely exclusionary. “Well for one thing I want to point out … tacos are Mexican food,” an aide to Rep. Ruben Hinojosa, D-Texas, correctly noted when we asked for help in filling in the blanks on a true Texan's diet.  

It’s obvious the state is crazy about tacos — particularly the breakfast variety.  

(Warren Rojas/CQ Roll Call)

(Warren Rojas/CQ Roll Call)

But how’d this group get away with blowing off kolaches, a regional delicacy Hill folks actively hunt down /stockpile every chance they get?  

(Warren Rojas/CQ Roll Call)

(Warren Rojas/CQ Roll Call)

It was also rather surprising to see steak carved out from all things “BBQ.”  

(Warren Rojas/CQ Roll Call)

(Warren Rojas/CQ Roll Call)

Yet smoked brisket, the stock-in-trade of countless, age-old barbecue pits, didn’t make the cut for standalone love.  

   

(Warren Rojas/CQ Roll Call)

(Warren Rojas/CQ Roll Call)

Texas Republican Blake Farenthold agreed that the dining blueprint could use some fine-tuning.  

“The bottom food group should be BBQ brisket,” Farenthold suggested, adding that the “Mexican food” tag ought to be re-branded as “Tex-Mex.”  

The conservative lawmaker even made a case for broadening the base — urging the gastro-architects to factor in Shiner beers and Blue Bell ice cream.  

Rep. Kevin Brady, R-Texas, seconded that motion.  

(Warren Rojas/CQ Roll Call)

(Warren Rojas/CQ Roll Call)

“Blue Bell Ice Cream is, without question, a Texas food group. It would be a crime to leave that out,” he assured HOH.  

Huntsville, Texas country station KSAM 101.7’s must have heard their psychic pleas, sweetening the pot on authentic hometown eats by folding in Blue Bell and ooey-gooey pecan pie.  

Others on the Hill see room for additional improvement.  

“Don’t neglect the daily recommended servings of rice and boudin,” Donny Ferguson, spokesman for Rep. Steve Stockman, R-Texas, chimed in.  

“I'd agree if tacos were replaced by seafood,” Hinojoso spokeswoman Patricia Guillermo volunteered, touting the adjoining Gulf of Mexico as a culinary treasure trove.  

Meanwhile, at least one member of Team Brady lobbied for adding even more red meat to the mix.  

“I think there also needs to be a bonus category in there for Whataburger ,” spokeswoman Shana Teehan shared.