But for baseless conjecture about why the Weiner decided to grow out his 'stache, we urge you to read on.
It seems that as part of the November men's cancer awareness campaign, Movember, which asks men to grow a mustache against cancer, there is now a National Have Sex With a Guy With a Mustache Day on Nov. 18.
Why? Because it's obviously time for women to take a stand against male cancer by having sex with, um, a man or two. So take that cancer!
According to the American Mustache Institute's public service announcement for National Have Sex With a Guy With a Mustache Day, most women sport, at best, subpar 'staches, so the only way they can defeat male cancers is by having conjugal relations with a man with hair on his lip.
So, our baseless conjecture: Even though no one can know the inner workings of any marriage, we bet the Weiners lived through an icy moment or two during the past several months. Also, we're just going to point out that it is very interesting that the Wee Weiner 'Stache popped up around reasonably close to the same time as this particular national day of service.
For continuing coverage of 'staches in Congress, please tune in to Wednesday's Heard on the Hill.
Former Sen. Scott Brown, R-Mass., candidate for U.S. Senate in New Hampshire, holds his hand over his heart during the singing of the national anthem as he waits to take the stage for his town hall campaign rally with Sen. John McCain at the Pinkerton Academy in Derry, N.H., on Monday, Aug. 18, 2014.