On the Senate floor Tuesday, Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.) repeatedly insisted he was not eulogizing Republican Conference Chairman Lamar Alexander (Tenn.) even though it sounded like he was a teeny-tiny bit.
“I say to my friend of 40 years, even though there are a number of colleagues here on the floor, I’m confident we all agree this is not a eulogy that we’re about to engage in,” McConnell began.
HOH is glad everyone on the Senate floor agreed that the speech was not a eulogy because Alexander is not now, nor in fact has he ever been, dead. Still, if someone felt the need to point that out to us, we would be kinda nervous they knew something we didn’t.
“But, really, I think I have a great sense of relief that my friend is going to run again in 2014,” McConnell continued. “And continue to make an extraordinary contribution to the Senate and to America.”
Alexander was probably also relieved at this point.
McConnell then launched into an extended account of Alexander’s biography — from childhood to more recent career highlights, which is kind of like what happens during a eulogy.
“I must say to my good friend from Tennessee,” McConnell said again, “I’m relieved that you’re not leaving the Senate.”
And McConnell pointed out (again), “This is not a eulogy.”
Alexander could have been forgiven at this point for checking his own pulse just to be sure.
Vice President Joe Biden waits to conduct a mock swearing-in ceremony with Sen. Brian Schatz, D-Hawaii, in the Capitol's Old Senate Chamber, December 2, 2014. Schatz was sworn in to serve the remainder of his term since he was appointed to the seat after Sen. Daniel Inouye, D-Hawaii, passed away.