Superman Has Jack Bauer Pajamas
Roll Call Staff
Quick, who said the following?:
“When bad things happen to good people, it’s probably fate. When bad things happen to bad people, it’s probably Jack Bauer. And I can’t wait to see what Jack Bauer has in store for the bad guys this season on ‘24.’”
Was it a blogger? A football announcer? President Palmer? Chuck Norris? Of course not, silly rabbit, it was Sen. John Cornyn (R-Texas). And Sen. John McCain (R-Ariz.) will soon be recorded saying something similar.
Cornyn, the former Texas attorney general, is a devoted watcher of the Fox show and has recorded two promotional TV spots for its upcoming season premiere. The ads will run on Fox News Channel beginning Friday.
And a GOP source said McCain — a fellow “24” fan who actually appeared on the show last season — also has agreed to tape some promos this week.
That first quote above was one of Cornyn’s scripts. The second script: “Here in Congress protecting the American people and winning the war on terror is our number one priority. But has anyone also noticed that there have been no terrorist attacks in the United States since Jack Bauer has appeared on television? Think about it. And check out this season of ‘24.’”
“We wanted to show people another side to legislators, the funny side,” explained Cornyn spokesman Brian Walsh.
Of course, there’s nothing funny about Jack Bauer. In fact, Jack Bauer would laugh in the face of danger, but Jack Bauer doesn’t laugh.
Like Sands Through the Hourglass. Yes, the 110th Congress was gaveled into session in the House on Thursday, and yes, the chamber held nine recorded votes last week. But no, the Democrats’ vaunted “first 100 hours” has not expired yet.
When did the clock actually start? Let’s look at the press release that was issued around midday Tuesday by the office of House Majority Leader Steny Hoyer (D-Md.):
“Today the Speaker’s Office has announced that the 100 Hours clock will start at the beginning of debate on the ‘Implementing 9/11 Commission Recommendations’ Act, not at noon. Therefore, the clock will begin ticking at approximately 1:30 p.m.”
The clock — which can be seen at majorityleader.gov — actually started at 1:01 p.m., according to the extraordinarily precise clock on HOH’s computer. (Full disclosure: HOH’s phone said it was 1:02.)
Got that? HOH was told there would be no math, but by his calculation, the “first 100 hours” began on the sixth day since Congress began, and the third day the House was actually in session. And it didn’t start when the House considered a resolution honoring the late President Gerald Ford on Tuesday. Basically, it started when Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.) — whose office didn’t respond to a request for comment — said it started. And that was 1 p.m. Give or take.
Wu Are You? Ever since then-Rep. Cynthia McKinney’s (D-Ga.), um, “incident” at a Longworth House Office Building door last year, the Capitol Police are understandably hesitant to stop Members from going on their merry way.
But at last Wednesday’s Democratic Caucus meeting, Rep. David Wu (Ore.) still managed to get stopped by a cop on his way in the door. Why? Perhaps it was because, sources told HOH, Wu was dragging “a lot of luggage” and was wearing a colorful Hawaiian shirt with no Member pin.
Wu’s office did not respond to requests for comment, but sources assured HOH that Wu did not hit anyone with his cell phone. He was very polite about the whole thing and dutifully dug his ID out of his luggage to show the police.
Oops. Speaking of meetings, freshman Sen. Sherrod Brown (D-Ohio) obviously is working on finding his sea legs in his first few days on the Senate side of the Capitol. A hurried Brown nearly bucked his party in its first week of business when he accidentally tried to bust into the Republicans’ policy luncheon Tuesday.
Now, if HOH was going to pick a Senate Democrat who might switch parties, he would probably not put Brown on the top of the list. When asked whether he was indeed defecting to the GOP so soon after being elected, the Buckeye State Democrat laughed: “I just got confused. It’s a tough building to figure out.”
Ridiculous. By now we know all about ex-Rep. Tom DeLay’s (R-Texas) post-Congressional career. He’s a blogger. He’s a conservative visionary. He goes on MSNBC. He is available to speak at your corporate event.
But did you know he’s now handing out awards? Sadly, DeLay will not be present for the 2007 Academy Awards or Source Awards (as far as we know). But he is using his Web site, TomDeLay.com, to hand out his own special honor: Most Ridiculous Liberal of the Year — 2006.
HOH is excited. Will it be Speaker Pelosi? Rep. Nick Lampson (D-Texas)? So far, commenters on DeLay’s site have lots of suggestions, including anti-war activist Cindy Sheehan, Sen. Arlen Specter (R-Pa.), Jesus and someone named “Osama Obama.” Stay tuned for the unveiling of the official list of nominees this week.
57 Varieties. Get over to the card store — today is House Minority Whip Roy Blunt’s (R-Mo.) 57th birthday.
And because he can’t eat all that cake by himself, the Missourian will be hosting the other House Members with Jan. 10 birthdays — Reps. Leonard Boswell (D-Iowa), Lois Capps (D-Calif.), Bill Shuster (R-Pa.), Chris Van Hollen (D-Md.) and Greg Walden (R-Ore.) — at a luncheon in his office.
At press time it was not clear whether there would be a piñata.
Emily Pierce and Erin P. Billings contributed to this report.
Please send your hot tips, juicy gossip or comments to hoh@rollcall.com.
Taylor: Preventing Another Underwear Bomber
March 19, 4:09 p.m.
The intelligence community faces challenges daily. No example is more emblematic of the problems faced than the so-called underwear bomber of 2009. As threats emerge, the hunt for “persons of interest” must occur in a more reliable and efficient manner because the consequences of inaction can be catastrophic. Read Full Article
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