Linda Sánchez: Package Inspector
Roll Call Staff
While Rep. Linda Sánchez (D-Calif.) played no formal role in the new Speaker’s inaugural festivities Thursday, she did play a key after-hours role at the gay bar Cobalt, where she wound up judging a “best package contest.”
Sánchez and a crowd of friends, including her brother (who is cute, straight and available, we hear), went in for a drink but once the contest organizers recognized the Congresswoman — she was the 2006 winner of Washington, D.C.’s Funniest Celebrity contest after all — they insisted she be a judge.
Four contestants undressed behind a backlit white curtain on stage, then paraded around in their socks and skivvies — three in patterned tighty-whities the other, and the winner as it turned out, in boxer-briefs.
Sánchez watched each strut his stuff and, well, flaunt his package. Proponents of protecting the sanctity and dignity of higher office will be relieved, however, to know that Sánchez didn’t actually have to judge each contestant’s package.
No. Here’s how it works, as one audience member explained to HOH: the judges watch the entire show, then go behind a curtain as the crowd cheers wildly for their favorite contestant.
“The judges technically judge for whom the crowd cheers the loudest when they’re behind the curtain and the contestants are displaying their packages to the masses,” our informant, who delighted in recognizing Sánchez, explained.
Lots of folks in the crowd tipped the contestants with dollar bills as they performed. Our source said he couldn’t confirm whether Sánchez did or did not.
“Ms. Sánchez was in a jubilant mood, though I don’t know if it was the scantily clad contestants or her party’s new majority status,” he said.
Sánchez, known for her bellyachingly outrageous jokes, wouldn’t give up details of her judging experience. Her spokesman, Jim Dau, said only, “I’m sure we’ll hear more about this in her next stand-up routine.”
Gere Fest. Richard Gere, the original “American Gigolo,” still turns the ladies on. Gere, who was in town last week attending the star-studded “PelosiPalooza” swearing-in festivities, nearly had gals falling out of their chairs when he waltzed into the Old Ebbitt Grill on Thursday night after the big bash at the National Building Museum.
Gere and his wife, Carey Lowell, a former Bond girl and star of “Law & Order,” jumped out of a big black Suburban and, at their request, were ushered to a “quiet table” in the corner bar.
It’s a good thing, ’cause the ladies were getting wild when they spotted Gere, according to Old Ebbitt General Manager Kyle Gaffney.
“Women, including our staff, were going kind of crazy,” he told HOH. (Though one — jealous? — HOH informant at the restaurant described Gere as “willowy and gaunt” with a “Hollywood mullet.”)
The ladies did not go so wild the night before at the Old Ebbitt when surviving members of the Grateful Dead Mickey Hart and Bob Weir, along with Bruce Hornsby and a member of the Allman Brothers Band, popped in for a late bite. All were in town to perform for the new Queen of the Hill, Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.).
Weir, Hart, et al, sat in the back bar, or Grant’s Bar, where Jerry Garcia liked to hang out when he was in town.
Zip It, POTUS. Former President Bill Clinton apparently wasn’t aware that “no cell phones” applied to him, too, as he sat in the Senate gallery last Thursday chatting a-mile-a-minute on his cell phone during swearing-in ceremonies.
Never mind that his wife was about to take the oath of office for another six-year term. He had work to do or friends to catch up with (he even passed the phone to a friend nearby).
Police officers usually hang on to visitors’ cell phones while they’re in the gallery, so we reckon the cops must have missed Bubba’s cell phone when they patted him down.
Senate rules prohibit the use of any electronic equipment in the gallery — “no exceptions” we’re told. “I think his ring tone was set to ‘SexyBack,’” remarked one obnoxious Senate staffer.
On a Personal Note. Happy trails, everyone! As many of you know HOH will continue, but not under this byline.
Thanks to all of you for playing ball and dropping those dimes, sending those tips, taking those punches and reading and laughing (and reading and griping) HOH under my byline for the past two years and 8 months. Thanks for helping to make this column a place where we can let loose and have fun, while still managing to scare the daylights out of the folks who misbehave. Have we had fun, or what?
And to those of you whose bosses are just too uptight to get it, bless you.
A special thanks to my “best guys” and “best gals” at Roll Call — my shadow HOH informants and writers — who helped make this column a success. And to my editor, Tim Curran, for putting up with my shenanigans and allowing me the freedom to be saucy, snarky and scoopy.
Thanks, everybody. And stay in touch.
Moira Bagley and Erin P. Billings contributed to this report.
Please send your hot tips, juicy gossip or comments to hoh@rollcall.com.
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