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Abramoff’s Pet Names

Carroll conceded there was a bit of irony that a Brit had written the foreword. (After all, the tome includes a section praising the virtues of the signers of the Declaration of Independence, hardly the biggest fans of the British Crown.) But she added: “Even the British can understand American values.” (And Fergie always did seem to have an affinity for all things Texan — remember that infamous toe-sucking episode with Lone Star businessman John Bryan?)

Aimed at teachers and parents, Granger’s slim, 119-page volume is packed with inspirational stories of great Americans such as Abraham Lincoln and Martin Luther King Jr. and offers plenty of positive advice from Granger about living a better, fuller, more American life, such as: “Get what you want in life by helping others get what they want in life” and “Be brave and stay away from drugs. Go your own way and be your own person.”

Granger has received permission to promote the book (all proceeds of which are going to charity) on her campaign Web site, said Carroll. A kickoff party is also planned for July 6 in Fort Worth, and local book signings in Texas will follow, beginning in mid-July.

And if you still need something to fill the dog days of summer, Granger’s book even offers discussion questions and assignments for personal growth á la motivational speaker Tony Robbins. So get ready, kids. Let’s put on our thinking caps and come up with some good answers to her question, “Why are there still places in the world where different lives are treated differently?”

Good thing that would never happen here.

Softball, Foreshadowing? If softball is any indication, the Republicans are primed to kick some Democratic butt this fall. The Republican National Committee softball team trounced the Democratic National Committee squad Wednesday night, 26-8.

Could be that the GOP smack talk and other forms of psychological warfare really got to the Democrats. Republican players showed up with a life-size cardboard cut-out of George W. Bush, who stood on the sidelines smirking and “cheering” the whole time. After they won, they hoisted W up on their shoulders and paraded him around, as Democrats stood by seething.

Kevin McLaughlin, who heads the radio and television department at the RNC, said the Democrats had some cheesy organized cheers. “We were up quite handily when they started those cheers.” Democrats, he said, were chanting “four more runs, four more runs,” then switched to chants of “32 percent, 32 percent,” referencing the president’s dismal approval rating.

“They wanted to cut and run in the fifth inning, but they stuck it out to the end,” McLaughlin said of the Democrats.

Democrats would point out, thank you very much, that the DNC is ranked 14th in the league, while the RNC is way at the bottom, at 57th.

“The RNC better relish their win on the softball field, because it’ll be their only victory this year, as the Democrats are poised to take back the House and the Senate in November,” DNC spokesman Mark Paustenbach told HOH.

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