It's Super Tuesday! Which is like Christmas in March for real political reporters!
Thank goodness the rest of us have Internet inanity to keep us entertained while delirious news teams analyze exit polls, precinct results and totally disingenuous concession speeches.
The Onion (remember, it's satire folks) is doing its part to advance democracy by blowing the lid off former Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney's practice of "making it rain" and probing Rep. Ron Raul's (R-Texas) obsession with man rape.
The GOPussy Cats have chose to share their calendar-induced woes via song:
Finally, food writer Michael Procopio has whipped up a "wacky" Super Tuesday Santorum Cake that includes helpful tips such as: "Pre-heat oven to 350º F and tell yourself there is no such thing as global warming," as well as "Pulverize your nuts, then set them aside."
Procopio then suggests serving "to the Presidential candidate of your choice this Super Tuesday ... And hope he does what this cake is sure to do: disappear quickly."
And just think, the day has only really just begun ...