Girding Our Loins for Nerd Prom

The wild ride that is the White House Correspondents Dinner begins gaining steam this Thursday, picks up speed Friday night and barrels forward for the balance of Saturday before crashing into dueling brunches. Anxious to hang — think open bar and endless finger foods as far as the eye can see — all week long? HOH has taken the liberty of plotting your itinerary. 4/25 National Journal Hotline Political Pursuit at the Newseum. Bait: Reps. Rush D. Holt, D-N.J.; Richard Hudson, R-N.C.; Steve Israel, D-N.Y.; Loretta Sanchez, D-Calif.; and John Yarmuth, D-Ky., face off against seasoned hacks. Rock the Vote at Heist. Bait: trendy DJs, overflowing swag bags, gourmet baked goods. 4/26 New Republic office-warming/DISCUS reception. Bait: punchy liberals Voto Latino reception at the Hay-Adams Hotel. Bait: Rosario Dawson People/Time reception at the St. Regis Hotel. Bait: Affirmation of your A-list status (very exclusive) Creative Coalition/Lanmark Technology Inc. “Celebrate Arts in America” fundraiser at Neyla. Bait: Sharon Stone, Tracy Morgan, Sam Trammell, Kevin McHale, Giancarlo Esposito, Tim Daly, Patricia Arquette, Leslie David Baker, Josh Radnor and Beth Behrs Atlantic Welcome Dinner at Chez Bradley. Bait: The opportunity to poke around Atlantic Media head David Bradley’s humble abode Atlantic/Our Time “Making News Party” at Powerhouse. Bait: access to media heavies 4/27 White House Correspondents Brunch at Chez Haddad. Bait: people watching central CQ Roll Call reception at the Washington Hilton, Jay Room. Bait: Patricia Arquette Yahoo!/Univision/ABC News reception at Washington Hilton, Columbia Lawn. Bait: Sofia Vergara, Eric Stonestreet, Ty Burrell, Julie Bowen, Connie Britton, Hayden Panettiere, Charles Esten, Shonda Rhimes, Kerry Washington, Tony Goldwyn Thomson Reuters reception at Washington Hilton, Georgetown Room East. Bait: Jeremy Renner, Steve Zahn, Fred Armisen, Victor Cruz, Dan Stevens, Kathleen Turner, Madeleine Stowe, Mariane Pearl (widow of Daniel Pearl), Newtown, Conn., First Selectwoman Pat Llodra Atlantic/CBS reception in the Washington Hilton lobby Newsweek/Daily Beast reception at the Washington Hilton, Monroe Room Washington Post reception at the Washington Hilton, Jefferson Room “BBQ with BuzzFeed” counter-WHCD event/after-party at Jack Rose Saloon. Bait: barbecue, DJs and, presumably, no security pat-down Capitol File/Bipartisan Policy Committee after-party at the Carnegie Library. Bait: non-confrontational political chatter MSNBC after-party at the Italian Embassy. Bait: having Rachel Maddow mix your drinks for you Vanity Fair/Bloomberg after-party at the home of the French ambassador. Bait: bragging rights (most exclusive ticket in town) 4/28 Thomson Reuters/Yahoo! News brunch at the Hay-Adams Hotel roof. Bait: Top Chef alumni Mike Isabella, Spike Mendelsohn, Bart Vandaele and Bryan Voltaggio whipping up “politically inspired” hangover fare Politico Brunch at Chez Albritton. Bait: last stop on the binge-drinking express 4/29 Check into rehab Correction: An earlier version of this post incorrectly identified some of the celebrity guests attending the various receptions surrounding the White House Correspondents Dinner.